Men in frocks

God's curious fashion foibles

Jesus Never Existed – The Criminal History of the Christian Church

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Kenneth Humphreys









"No cutting your corners" says Yahweh

"You shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt you mar the corners of your beard." – Leviticus 19.27.









Tassels are in again this season

"The Lord said to Moses, 'Speak to the people of Israel, and tell them to make tassels on the corners of their garments throughout their generations, and to put a cord of blue on the tassel of each corner." – Numbers 15.38.

"You shall make yourself tassels on the four corners of your garment with which you cover yourself." – Deuteronomy 22:12.









Naked? Suits you, sir

"Spake the Lord ... Go and loose the sackcloth from off thy loins, and put off thy shoe from thy foot. And he did so, walking naked and barefoot.

And the Lord said, Like as my servant Isaiah hath walked naked and barefoot three years for a sign and wonder upon Egypt and upon Ethiopia."
–Isaiah 20.2,3.








Wear the yoke, no joke

"Thus saith the Lord to me; Make thee bonds and yokes, and put them upon thy neck." – Jeremiah 27.2.











Santa Pope











Spot the Queen...


Pontificalia is an essential element of the religious circus. Without the fancy dress would Jesus-magic still enthrall the gullible, enthuse the pious and comfort the desolate? The showman needs his ensemble of silk and satin, his purple and gold livery, his dashing headgear, his rings, sashes and baubles. Such unworldly apparel is surely evidence of his divine calling, his proximity to the celestial throne and the Majesty of God Himself?

Then again, it might all be a charade, a masterful con-trick as old as the hills, a circus that the caesars found so useful, medieval clerics so enriching, and even the 21st century a spectacle so bewitching.

Roll up, roll up. Papa is in town.


Fashionistas of the Lord


"Then in the audience of all the people he said to his disciples, Beware of the scribes, who desire to walk in long robes, and love greetings in the markets, and the highest seats in the synagogues, and the chief rooms at feasts; who devour widows' houses, and for a show make long prayers: the same shall receive greater damnation."

– Luke 20.45,47.




" Everything they do is done for men to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted in the marketplaces and to have men call them 'Rabbi.' "

– Matthew 23.5,7.




"Jesus began to speak to the crowd about John: 'What did you go out into the desert to see? A reed swayed by the wind?  If not, what did you go out to see? A man dressed in fine clothes? No, those who wear fine clothes are in kings' palaces.' "

– Matthew 11.7-8.


"Jesus said, 'Why have you come out into the desert? To see a reed shaken by the wind? And to see a man clothed in fine garments like your kings and your great men? Upon them are the fine garments, and they are unable to discern the truth.' "

– Thomas 78




"And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well."

– Matthew 5.40.





"You shall keep my statutes ... You shall not wear a garment of cloth made of two kinds of material." – Leviticus 19.19




"Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon the earth, where moth and rust spoils, and where thieves dig through and steal."

– Matthew 6.19.




"Thou shalt not wear a garment of divers sorts, as of woollen and linen together."

– Deuteronomy 22.11.





"The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God."

– Deuteronomy 22.5.





"Let thy garments be always white; and let thy head lack no ointment."

– Ecclesiastes 9.8.







"Now if you can read the writing and make known to me its interpretation, you shall be clothed with purple and have a chain of gold around your neck."

– Daniel 5.16.







Mad Hatter

    Which one, which one..?    
The Mighty Mitre



Pope-star footwear

Eat your heart out, Imelda Marcos!

How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the Gospel of peace.” (Nabuco, Ius Pont., 179)

Until the mid-20th century, those granted an audience with the pope knelt to kiss one of his slippers – an interesting contrast to Jesus "washing feet" of John 13. But at least the papal tootsies were in elaborately embroidered slippers, hand-made with satin, silk, and gold thread, and embellished with a cross of rubies.


Last word



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