Men in frocks

God's curious fashion foibles

Jesus Never Existed – The Criminal History of the Christian Church


email the author
Kenneth Humphreys


07.11.11

 

   
 

 

 

 

 

 

"No cutting your corners" says Yahweh

"You shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt you mar the corners of your beard." – Leviticus 19.27.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tassels are in again this season

"The Lord said to Moses, 'Speak to the people of Israel, and tell them to make tassels on the corners of their garments throughout their generations, and to put a cord of blue on the tassel of each corner." – Numbers 15.38.

"You shall make yourself tassels on the four corners of your garment with which you cover yourself." – Deuteronomy 22:12.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Naked? Suits you, sir

"Spake the Lord ... Go and loose the sackcloth from off thy loins, and put off thy shoe from thy foot. And he did so, walking naked and barefoot.

And the Lord said, Like as my servant Isaiah hath walked naked and barefoot three years for a sign and wonder upon Egypt and upon Ethiopia."
–Isaiah 20.2,3.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wear the yoke, no joke

"Thus saith the Lord to me; Make thee bonds and yokes, and put them upon thy neck." – Jeremiah 27.2.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Santa Pope

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spot the Queen...

 

Pontificalia is an essential element of the religious circus. Without the fancy dress would Jesus-magic still enthrall the gullible, enthuse the pious and comfort the desolate? The showman needs his ensemble of silk and satin, his purple and gold livery, his dashing headgear, his rings, sashes and baubles. Such unworldly apparel is surely evidence of his divine calling, his proximity to the celestial throne and the Majesty of God Himself?

Then again, it might all be a charade, a masterful con-trick as old as the hills, a circus that the caesars found so useful, medieval clerics so enriching, and even the 21st century a spectacle so bewitching.

Roll up, roll up. Papa is in town.

 

Fashionistas of the Lord

 

"Then in the audience of all the people he said to his disciples, Beware of the scribes, who desire to walk in long robes, and love greetings in the markets, and the highest seats in the synagogues, and the chief rooms at feasts; who devour widows' houses, and for a show make long prayers: the same shall receive greater damnation."

– Luke 20.45,47.

 

 

 

" Everything they do is done for men to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted in the marketplaces and to have men call them 'Rabbi.' "

– Matthew 23.5,7.

 

 

 

"Jesus began to speak to the crowd about John: 'What did you go out into the desert to see? A reed swayed by the wind?  If not, what did you go out to see? A man dressed in fine clothes? No, those who wear fine clothes are in kings' palaces.' "

– Matthew 11.7-8.

 

"Jesus said, 'Why have you come out into the desert? To see a reed shaken by the wind? And to see a man clothed in fine garments like your kings and your great men? Upon them are the fine garments, and they are unable to discern the truth.' "

– Thomas 78

 

 

 

"And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well."

– Matthew 5.40.

 

 

 

 

"You shall keep my statutes ... You shall not wear a garment of cloth made of two kinds of material." – Leviticus 19.19

 

 

 

"Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon the earth, where moth and rust spoils, and where thieves dig through and steal."

– Matthew 6.19.

 

 

 

"Thou shalt not wear a garment of divers sorts, as of woollen and linen together."

– Deuteronomy 22.11.

 

 

 

 

"The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God."

– Deuteronomy 22.5.

 

 

 

 

"Let thy garments be always white; and let thy head lack no ointment."

– Ecclesiastes 9.8.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Now if you can read the writing and make known to me its interpretation, you shall be clothed with purple and have a chain of gold around your neck."

– Daniel 5.16.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mad Hatter

    Which one, which one..?    
The Mighty Mitre

 

 

Pope-star footwear

Eat your heart out, Imelda Marcos!

How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the Gospel of peace.” (Nabuco, Ius Pont., 179)

Until the mid-20th century, those granted an audience with the pope knelt to kiss one of his slippers – an interesting contrast to Jesus "washing feet" of John 13. But at least the papal tootsies were in elaborately embroidered slippers, hand-made with satin, silk, and gold thread, and embellished with a cross of rubies.

 

Last word

 

 

Related articles

 
Missionaries or Murderers?The Christianising of Europe
 
The Papal Princes – Christian Lords of Hell on Earth
 
The Church Fathers – Putting the Dark into the Dark Age…
 
1000 Years of Carnage & Barbarity in the name of Christ
 
Burning Times – Auto da fe

Home
MAJOR SECTIONS
Do you really think it all began with a sanctimonious Jewish wonder-worker, strolling about 1st century Palestine? Prepare to be enlightened.
Imaginary Friend
Still holding to the idea that some sort of holy man lies behind the legend? Better check out...
Godman – Gestation of a Superhero

A closer look at the glib assertion that the Jesus story "got off the ground quickly and spread rapidly."
What DID the Early Christians Believe?


Many currents fed the Jesus myth, like streams and tributaries joining to form a major river.
Sourcing the legend – The Syncretic Heritage of Christianity


Much of the mythology of Christianity is a rehash of an older and even more transparent fabrication – Judaism.
Jew Story – The Way of the Rabbi


Human ingenuity and cunning is matched by mankind's equally monumental credulity and wishful thinking.
Christianity's Fabrication Factory


Church organisation, authority and membership preceded rather than followed the justifying doctrine. As the organisation and its needs changed so has the ‘Testament of God’ adapted accordingly.
Dogma – The Word in all its Savage Glory

From religious policeman to grandee of the church, from beast fighter in Ephesus to beheading in Rome, Paul's story has more holes than a swiss cheese.
 
St Paul the ApostleDead in the water?


Orchestrated by ambitious Christian clerics, a cancer of superstition, fear and brutality was imposed across Europe.
The Criminal History of the Christian Church


The Christian Heaven may have been a vain folly but the Christian Hell has been real enough.
A Brutal Superstition Spreads Across Europe


With a Jewish father (stern patriarch) and a Christian mother (obsession with guilt and heaven) it is not surprising that Islam grew up a bit of a tartar.
The Challenge of Islam – 'Christendom' Reaps a Whirlwind

Heaven help us. The richest, most powerful nation in history has a psychotic infatuation with Jay-a-sus the Lawd!
The Christianizing of the Americas
 

 

 



 

 

Some fifty articles are now available as a book. For your copy order:

 

 

 

'Save' a friend e-mail this page

 

Copyright © 2010 by Kenneth Humphreys.
Copying is freely permitted, provided credit is given to the author and no material herein is sold for profit.