The Christianizing of America - 1950-2006

Jesus loves a winner!

Jesus Never Existed – The Christianization of the Americas

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Kenneth Humphreys



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Major Franchise Holders of Jesus Inc.

After the civil war, Southern Baptists inherited the soul of the South whereas United Methodists became the conscience of the North.

Catholics huddled around the cities of the northeast while Lutherans settled a region akin to their native Scandinavia. Home-grown Mormonism established a final frontier in the West.

Jesus everywhere.





Give to the Poor?

"If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that which thou hast, and give to the poor."– Matthew 19.21.

– Are you kidding? The "social gospel" that evangelised some parts of America in the late 19th and early 20th centuries has no place in today's winner-take-all society.

Although awash with so much love of Jesus, America is not the land of charity and compassion. It is ruthlessly selfish and woefully violent.

More money, more Goodness!




Re-branding greed – "Wealth"

Greed gets a makeover

Yes, grabbing everything in sight (aka "material abundance") is no longer a sin!

It's not at all like those unrighteous tax collectors of the Bible, taking from the poor to give to the rich.

In Jesus Land the poor are a thing of the past (well, at least, past thinking about) and everyone is on their way to being rich, Rich, RICH.

Not yet rich – in need of more prayer.






Buy a Supersized portion of Jesus!

"Take out the largest bill or check you have. That $100, $50, or $20 bill, hold it in your clean hands and say, 'In Jesus's name I dedicate this gift to God's work and expect a miracle return of money.' "

– The Word of Faith scam.





“Vanity of vanities, all is vanity”

– Ecclesiastes 12.8

7,500 seat multi-media Jesus auditorium at Willow Creek Community Church,  South Barrington, Illinois, a wealthy suburb of Chicago with a population of 4000.







Lakewood Church, Houston. 16,000 happy clappies repurpose the Compaq Center arena and replace their brains with Jesus mush.

In larger and larger auditoriums rationality and judgement fall victim to orchestrated hysteria and Jesus frenzy.

Adolf Hitler would have been impressed.





And where's Jesus?

Not yet rich. An obvious sinner gets a wake up call from the Lord.

The "fringe" members of American society – the downtrodden, the homeless, the poor – are held in contempt in a "winner" society.







Rocket to Jesus

First Baptist Church, Huntsville, Alabama.

This dashing, tasteless, superchurch features a 229' prefabricated steel, aluminium and zinc steeple, complete with air con and an elevator.





Domed theme park for Jesus

Faith Chapel Christian Center, Birmingham, Alabama.

The $15 million 280-foot diameter "Word Dome" (all 86,000 square feet of it) is covered by porcelain Marazzi tiles. At a further cost of $16.5 million 6 additional smaller domes are to be added.

What fun! What fellowship!




"But the Son of man has nowhere to lay His head."

Not yet rich. Needs to love Jesus.

"And Jesus saith unto him, The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head."

– Matthew 8.20.




Jesus Glasshouse

6,000 square feet of glass standing on 100 tons of flagstone.

4 million people have visited "Thorncrown" Chapel, Eureka Springs, Arkansas, a town of just 2,000 residents.

Jesus loves those tourist dollars.




Tower of Power

Oral Roberts Christian University, Tulsa, Oklahoma, features this awesome 200' Prayer Tower complete with observation deck and a "Journey into Faith" multi-media fun-fest.

The tower houses a team of "professional prayers" offering a 24/7 prayer service for those of you too busy to pray yourself. Just call 918-495-7777 or submit an email prayer request here.

And guess what: you can also "Plant a Seed-Faith Gift". Be sure to have your credit card at the ready!






Lafayette Ron Hubbard – "Thetan" in chief

The United States loves its flimflam – not just organized religion, in supersized portions, but astrology, psychic awareness, rebirthing, UFOs – any form of superstition.

A sci-fi writer who saw a market opportunity was Ron Hubbard, originator of the "science" of Dianetics, a kind of latter day "Christian Science" in which mental and physical ailments are cured by "clearing" so-called engrams (unconscious memories).

Appropriately enough, Dianetics first appeared in the May 1950 edition of Astounding Science Fiction magazine.

Delighted by the success of his wacky idea Hubbard finessed his "science" into a full-blown Church of Scientology.

According to the gospel of Ron, a tyrant called Xenu dropped us humans off on earth 75 million years ago.

A vast literature combining elements from Star Trek and jargonised psycho-babble promises greater "self-fulfillment". A favourite with the Hollywood set. Kinda says it all.


L. Ron Hubbard's Great-Grandson Spills The Family Secrets On How Scientology Started. Eek.










Shaking Down the Sheep

“So any adroit, unscrupulous fellow, who knows the world, has only to get among these simple souls and his fortune is quickly made; he plays with them.”

– Lucian of Samosata, "The Passing of Peregrinus." (2nd century AD).

With over 1200 Christian organizations, the USA has a greater number of Jesus fan clubs than any other country in the world. The proliferation of variegated brands of Christianity in America is so extreme that it acquires a comic dimension. One might discern only a subtle difference in name between, say, the "Evangelical Congregational Church" and the "Evangelical Covenant Church", or the "Church of God in Christ" and "Church of Christ" but miss a gulf of doctrinal distinction.

But then, who is bothered about doctrine anyway? Denominations, a source of so much anguish and bloodshed in the past, have diminishing importance in the era of evangelical psychosis, mega-churches and apocalyptic blockbusters. The important thing is to "have religion". "With religion" you are a patriot, defending the American way of life; without religion you are a subversive radical, an enemy.

Christianity USA is all show business and emotional razzmatazz. Organised as international corporations, with a globalised "mission" of subsidiary offices, its product is propaganda, pouring in prodigious quantity from a network of TV and radio stations and publishing houses. The intent is to draw further millions into the mass of devotees.

In choreographed extravaganzas Pastor whips up mindless love of Jesus and serious fund raising, and then retreats to his opulent sanctuary, content in knowing that he is a tireless servant of the Lord.

Collecting Cash for God!

"So what did God do? He GAVE the very thing He needed – His only begotten Son, the best gift heaven could give! What did God receive? Yes, we know – billions of sons and daughters! God lives by His own law – you GIVE if you expect to RECEIVE!"

 – Paul Crouch of the Trinity Broadcasting Network espouses the "theology" of fleecing the sheep on behalf of a needy God.

, the notorious ecclesiastical scam which was a catalyst of the Reformation, is alive and well in 21st century America. So-named from Simon Magus, the magician in Acts who tried to buy the power of miracles, Pentecostal con-artists shamelessly sell "the power of God" to the gullible, the elderly, and the desperate. These purveyors of false hope and empty dreams repackage Christianity as a "cargo cult", in which they solicit for
"seed" donations and preach a "gospel of gain". Like any good scam, the con appeals to the base instinct of greed, but with a veneer of feel-good "Christian charity". You give, for godsake, and then wait for your divinely sponsored dividend to come rolling in a hundred fold.


The Pyramid Selling of Jesus

"Cults are not new. There have always been inspiring, charismatic, guru-like leaders who have been able to persuade devoted bands of followers that they have the answer to the big question: the meaning of life."

– Jean Ritchie, The Secret World of Cults.

A towering ego, an insatiable appetite for adoration and applause, a rampant libido, and above all, an eye on the big money, mark out the "charismatic" personality well-suited to the business of religion. All he needs is oratorical skill, unbridled ambition and a leg-up from a "name" already in the business.

Many have trod the path. The roll-call of dishonour speaks volumes. Hiding behind their Bibles and clerical collars are a bunch of crooks and hucksters, womanising egotists and dangerous megalomaniacs.



Rich. Author of "How to Improve Your Preaching" and guardian of unsullied fundamentalism.

"Blessed are the poor."
– Luke 6.20.



Bob Jones: Big-mouthed Bigot from the Boondocks

The son of a Confederate soldier and Alabama sharecropper, the young and poorly educated Bob Jones (1883-1968) discovered a youthful talent for memorizing scripture.

With a natural flair for oratory, the "boy preacher" warmed the hearts and softened the brains of the yokels. At 15 Bob was already an itinerant Methodist and on his way to Jesus loot, an enterprise he continued for half a century, until upstaged by the new boy on the block and dangerous liberal, Billy Graham.

Proudly intolerant, Jones was a racist, anti-Catholic, anti-Darwinian, who supported the Klan. In 1927, with the tide of history moving against religious reactionaries, BJ put money into the Bob Jones College (later University), the purpose of which was to train missionaries and teach the "Christian alternative" to reality.



Rich. Seeds the faith and collects the $$$.

Early rackets were "prayer cloths", sold in their 100,000s, and faked "healings".

His numerous books include "How I Learned Jesus Was Not Poor."


Oral Roberts: Seeding Faith – Harvesting a Fortune

Oral Roberts was a 1940s pioneer in the business of extracting Jesus loot. In fifty years he went from tent to TV station. Like Bob Jones, Oral cashed in with his very own "God-centered Christian University" in Tulsa which schools other Jesus-shysters.

The quintessential fund-raiser, for his campus Medical Centre alone Oral scooped over $9 million (although the centre lasted less than a decade). His Ministry now offers a 24/7 prayer-by-proxy service for the mentally challenged.

Oral's contribution to the art of Jesus scamming was "Seed-Faith" (you give him your cash and then wait for God to return it to you 100-fold), such a cutie of an idea other operators copied the "Give and Receive" scam-ology.

Endowments funded the purchase of $multi-million houses for Oral in Beverly Hills and Palm Springs. His son Richard – also gifted with a hot-line to God – inherited the throne. Sure beats working.

Not yet rich – Where are their faith seeds?



Kenneth Hagin (1917-2003) – Southern Baptist who sold Jesus for nearly 70 years.

His "prosperity gospel" was summed up in the catch-phrase "Confess it and Possess it."


Kenneth Hagin:
Magic Mantra of "Word Faith"

"Believe it in your heart; say it with your mouth. That is the principle of faith. You can have what you say."
Charismatic Chaos, p. 285.

According to Brother Kenneth Hagin, God – bless him – wants every believer to be rich. The "positive confession" of Word Faith (does that sound like Seed Faith to you?) makes your wildest dreams possible. Harness the power of God and conjure up your heart's desire.

In essence, Word Faith is the "mind over matter" mantra of Mary Baker Eddy's Christian Science with a fresh lick of paint. Hagin's Ministry, it seems, is ushering in the Second Coming. In his book I Believe in Visions Hagin claimed several personal encounters with Jesus. Well there's no doubt he encountered a lot of Jesus dollars.



Rich. Graham got to better parties by shrewdly moving from fundamentalism to evangelicalism.

"Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven." – Matthew 19.23.



Billy Graham: Global Crusader - 417 times

1957 and Billy Graham got the televangelist circus on the road. What a star – still serving up hot Jesus half a century later. Pastor-in-Chief helped George W Bush hear voices. Don't mention anti-Semitic indiscretions of the 1970s.

Salary package from Bill Graham Evangelistic Organization "modest" by Jesus Inc. standards (estimated at $450,000.) Instead, Billy basks in the presence of the rich, famous and powerful.

In 1999 Billy Graham Newspapers estimated Graham's Christian empire, which had over 10 million followers, grossed $100 million annually.

Not yet rich – have they accepted Jesus?



Rich. Devine purpose?

"For over a hundred years the United States has been an instrument of judgment in the hand of God."
– Copeland, December, 2001.



Kenneth Copeland: The Word is Money

Kenneth Copeland – ex-pop singer and flunky of Oral Roberts and Kenneth Hagin,  set up his own operation in the 1970s under the "Word of Faith" label. It may be the Last of Days but there's still plenty of time to get your Christian merchandise from the Copeland Christian store – "more than 700 faith-building titles, 300 Christian films and 20,000 additional products."

Shop till the rapture?



Not rich, dead. Jones: sold pet monkeys door-to-door to finance his first Jesus business ("Wings of Deliverance"). Fled to Guyana after tax evasion charges.



Jim Jones: Dying to be Saved

1978 People's Temple. 913 died after former Methodist minister and Bible cult leader Rev. Jim Jones told followers he was the Messiah and they should commit "revolutionary suicide". Most were poor blacks; 276 were children. Jones's "theology" had been an eclectic mix of Pentecostalism and welfare socialism.

900 cultic Christians high and dry on Flav-R-Aid.



Swaggart – God's cashier and a cousin of of rock legend Jerry Lee Lewis. Jimmy himself claims sales of 15 million gospel recordings.

"It is more blessed to give than to receive.” – Acts 20.33,35.



Jimmy Swaggart: Laugh or Cry?

Pentecostal "Assemblies of God" whoremonger Jimmy Swaggart, televangelist extraordinaire, raked in $150 million annually from gullible Jesus lovers during the 1980s.

A real rags-to-riches story. Swaggart had a poor start in life: depression-era rural Louisiana. But he had a natural charisma, and the growth of radio and TV presented the opportunity. Ordination as a minister by the AoG and conservative politics meant that Jimmy was on a roll. In the fiercely competitive televangelism racket Swaggart reached No. 1. But he had made enemies on the way up and they helped ensure that a pornography and hookers scandal brought him tumbling down again.

If you would like to help Jimmy get back on the gravy train click here.


David Koresh (aka Vernon Howell), rock guitarist turned guru.


David Koresh: 7th Day Barbeque

1983 Branch Davidians 80 died in fireball after former 7th Day Adventist and Bible cult leader David Koresh told followers he was Messiah and that the Apocalypse had begun.

Jesus lovers, toasted.



"It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven."
– Matthew 19.24.



Jimmy Bakker: Fraud the Lord

Jimmy Bakker, erstwhile force behind the PTL ('Praise the Lord') TV Network, raked in so much cash that he even set up his own theme park ("Heritage USA").

In 1989 AOG minister Jimmy Bakker admitted to squandering $158 million of Church donations on luxury cars, private mansions and female liaisons.

After a prison term, he's still working the rackets. Here's the link if you want to donate to Jimmy's "television miracle".



'Moses'  Berg, himself the son of old time revivalists, moved about the world with his Family of Love, maintaining his keen interest in pedophilia.



David Berg: Path to enlightenment – "sex with hot chicks"

David ('Moses') Berg was more interested in the sexual rather than the monetary rewards of selling Jesus.

Early in the 1970s this run-of-the-mill apocalyptic evangelical and TV preacher received the call to be God's "last prophet". 'Mo' set up the "Children of God" with a strong emphasis on sex. Recruitment was by "flirty fishing", earning his cult the name "Hookers for Jesus."

Berg anticipated much later evangelicals by predicted apocalyptic events and ultimately the "tribulation" that would begin in 1989 followed soon after by the second coming of Jesus. The poor old pervert died in 1994.



Not rich. Dead.

Born son of a Presbyterian minister, Applewhite and his happy band of fools graduated to the "Level Above Human."



Marshall Applewhite: Beamed Up

1997 Heaven's Gate. 87 die after Bible cult leader Marshall Applewhite tells followers they should "graduate" to meet Jesus behind the Hale-Bopp comet. Obviously watched too much Star Trek.

Dying to meet Jesus


Rich. Jerry Falwell, pastor of the 22,000-member Thomas Road Baptist Church, Lynchburg, Virginia.

In 1999 Falwell alerted the nation to the danger that Tinky Winky from "Teletubbies" might be gay.

"Woe to you that are rich! for ye have received your consolation." – Luke 6.24



Jerry Falwell: Hustler in Christ

"I hope to live to see the day when, as in the early days of our country, we won't have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!"

– Falwell ("America Can Be Saved!" 1979)

In the 1960s Falwell began his "Old-Time Gospel Hour" on TV and radio. The "Moral Majority" followed in 1979 but Jerry famously failed with his lawsuit against Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt in 1988. Falwell has continued to rail against secular schools, sodomites, feminists, abortionists and anything else he decides is unbiblical. During 1990s, he bankrolled anti-Clinton propaganda.

Neither moral, nor in majority, but fiercely competitive in the mega-church stakes. During 2006, Falwell's Thomas Road Baptist Church will move to a new building – a "state of the art sanctuary" of a million square ft. Should be large enough even for Falwell's ego.

Not yet rich – are they righteous?




"Concerning giving and receiving ... Not because I desire a gift: but I desire fruit that may abound to your account."  – Philippians 4.15,17.



Robert Tilton: Faith in Money

1980s hotshot fraudster Robert Tilton ("Word of Faith Church") cut himself a fat slice of the Jesus pie with a "Success-N-Life" scam. Tilton solicited $1000 vows in exchange for the "presence of God" and raked in an estimated $80 million per year until a TV exposé in 1992 forced him into a lower profile.

But you can't keep a good Jesus con man down. Tilton's recent books include How To Pay Your Bills Supernaturally.

Tilton with Jesus, third wife and three poodles.




Rich. Christian "Broadcaster of the Year, 1989".

"Go to now, ye rich men, weep and howl for your miseries that shall come upon you."
– James 5.1.

Robertson: friend of Jesus and Mobutu Sese Seko (late dictator of Zaire); Jorge Serrano (former dictator of Guatemala); Frederick Chiluba (boss of Zambia); Charles Taylor (warlord of Liberia).



Pat Robertson:

"There will never be peace until God's house and God's people are given their rightful place of leadership at the top of the world. How can there be peace when drunkards, drug dealers, communists, atheists, New Age worshipers of Satan, secular humanists, oppressive dictators, greedy money changers, revolutionary assassins, adulterers, and homosexuals are on top ... there is absolutely no way that government can operate successfully unless led by godly men and women operating under the laws of the God of Jacob."

Pat Robertson, The New World Order, 1992.

Multi-millionaire media mogul Pat Robertson became well-known as a fund-raiser for the Contras anti-government guerillas.

1999 estimated worth of Robertson's Christian empire, including the Christian Broadcasting Network TV station, gold and diamond mines, and university – $312 million.

Presidential aspirations died with false claims of "combat marine" service but he turned to building his own political organization, the Christian Coalition, which helped put Bush in the White House.

A man of questionable friendships with African dictators and – glory! – in 2003 this hot-gospelling faith healer turned not to the power of prayer but to the power of modern surgery to fix his prostate cancer. A racist and anti-Semitic bigot. "Satanists ... homosexuals – the two things seem to go together."

Robertson's indiscreet comments about Venezuela's president and Israel's prime minister cost him his seat on the National Religious Broadcasters' board of directors in March 2006.





"Thus saith the Lord GOD unto the shepherds;
'Woe be to the shepherds of Israel that do feed themselves!
Should not the shepherds feed the flocks?'"
– Ezekiel 34.2.



Ravi Zacharias: East meets West in Hindu for Jesus

Ravi Zacharias: $2000 business suits plus an exotic Hindu background, this showman serves up Jesus schpeel for a discerning pallet. He found Jesus after a botched suicide attempt and went on to "minister" to US troops in Vietnam. Billy Graham gave him a leg up and for thirty years Ravi has targetted "opinion leaders" across the globe. The "thinking" wing of apologetics.


 July 2015

Ravi Zacharias Caught Lying About his Credentials!!

Outted by the Friendly Banjo Atheist (YouTube link)

Not yet rich. Are they praying for those dollars?



Cardinal Bernard Law, a name synonymous with Church scandal.

For many years, Law covered up the sexual misconduct of his priests. He was more concerned with the image of the church than the well-being of children.



Men in frocks: Why change the habits of a millennium?

The Roman Catholic Church is synonymous with the institutional abuse of nuns and children on a massive scale. Its moral turpitude has cost it dearly, with a haemorrhaging of priests, nuns and followers.

In the US, the number of clerics accused of sexual abuse from 1950-2002 was 4,392. Over 800 priests were removed from the ministry. Known cost financially to dioceses and religious orders exceeded $600 million.

A Report on the Crisis in the Catholic Church in the United States

Cardinal Law was the biggest head to roll – sort of. He was transferred to an administrative post in the Roman Curia and appointed archpriest of the Basilica di Santa Maria Maggiore, one of the five major basilicas of the Roman Church. As a member of the College of Cardinals Law was an elector in the 2005 papal conclave that selected Pope Benedict XVI. No harm done, then?




Rich – has God's cell phone number and an even more useful hot line to George W Bush.

Kingdom Now? Favours a ferocious preemptive war against sin. Haven't we heard that somewhere?


Ted Haggard: Christian fascism, 'Free market' globalisation and Jesus Jihad

Pastor Ted Haggard, CEO of "New Life Church" cut his teeth staking out gays bars and smuggling Bibles into Eastern Europe. Now has an $18 million "worship centre" in Colorado Springs and presides over the National Association of Evangelicals.

"Pastor Ted’s true genius lies in his organizational hierarchy, which ensures ideological rigidity ... the pyramid of authority into which it orders its 11,000 members. At the base are 1,300 cell groups, whose leaders answer to section leaders, who answer to zone, who answer to district, who answer to Pastor Ted Haggard" – Harpers Magazine, May 2005.

Jesus diet – never miss a trick for those extra $$
 November 2006
Laugh or Cry? Pastor Ted caught with his pants down. Resigns in gay sex shocker !

Child-star turned evangelist Kirk Cameron effortlessly demolished more than a century of scientific understanding of evolution by knocking up a 'crocoduck' in Photoshop.

Gee whizz. Why can't it always be that easy?


Ray Comfort, Kirk Cameron, et al.

Prolific self-publicist Ray "Gawd invented bananas" Comfort, and Kirk Cameron, erstwhile star of TV-movie The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes, are a would-be Dynamic Duo of rabid evangelists. If you fancy some sort of christ-fu, why not visit their website "The Way of the Master"?

Celebrity preachers to keep an eye on: 'The Purpose Driven' Rick Warren (chosen in December 2008 by Obama to give the invocation at his inauguration) and Joel Olsteen, mega-mouth of the Lakewood mega-church.


The antics of whore-mongering, money gabbing egotists with an enthusiasm for Jesus would be mildly amusing if it were not for the fact that they have political clout and financial muscle. They attack rational education and have intruded an agenda of doomsday scenarios and apocalyptic meltdown into the political mainstream. Their propaganda extends far beyond the Bible belt and has global reach. "World missions" invasively erode other cultures, arrogantly assuming exclusive possession of civilised values and moral rectitude. Their God-given mission is to "Bring Jesus" to the whole of humanity.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.


Harold Bloom, The American Religion: The Emergence of the Post-Christian Nation (1992)
Will Herberg, Protestant, Catholic, Jew (1950)
Andrew Sinclair, A Concise History of the United States (Sutton, 1999)
Kevin Phillips, American Dynasty (Allen Lane, 2004)
Sam Harris, The End of Faith: Religion, Terror, and the Future of Reason (Norton, 2005)
David Domke, God Willing? Political Fundamentalism in the White House (Pluto, 2004)
D. R. McConnell, A Different Gospel (Hendrickson, 1993)
L. Ron Hubbard, Dianetics, The Evolution of a Science (Church of Scientology, 1968)


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